The Plight of Peter Odemwingie

Adrian Chiles's twat of the year will no doubt be leaving the hallowed, perfectly sized, Hawthornes this summer and going under the kind of raincloud normally reserved for Joey"i can google shakespeare quotes" Barton or Robin "can i win something please ffs" Van Persie but i'd like to ask the question:

"Is he a massive bellend... or an Albion hero?"

What the shizzle went wrong? Oh Pete where to start. Beware geeky references start here:
ok imagine you're Batman, you come out of nowhere, you own the place for a year even when doing wrong you can do no wrong you save gotham and everyone loves you, ok with me so far?
Now imagine Superman turns up, he's bloody hard working,sounds a bit like a pikey, doesnt take risks, that's right Its Shane Long, and helps you do it all over again!
Now imagine the rest of the justice league turns up and your not needed so much, it doesnt take everyone to save the world every week and after finding yourself running around (on the wing) not feeling the love you turn around and realise you're suddenly third choice not Batman, not Superman, probably wonder woman or Green Lantern, certainly not a Aquaman or Hawkman, (like poor Marcus Rosenberg) but no longer number one ok now do something bloody stupid like maybe....tell the world your sick of saving it!
Silly Pete listened to tweeted bile and didnt learn Frank Skinner's number one rule "never google yourself". At a turning point age when the final big contract is the be all and end all for most mid level footballers he found himself not starting games and out of position with another mouth to feed (no, not feed caviar and Dolce and Gabbana, dont be cynical) and sadly told us all about it! What we'll never know is the ammount agents and asshole cockney chancers played in this situation, is twitter the new easy access "moving closer to my dad" style cheeky move to force a transfer?
And to finish him in the eyes of many albion faithful his embarrassing mistaken dogging directions to a QPR car park was the last straw, Jezza Peace dont stand for that and the bench beckoned and twitter called him names again and he tweeted more and blah blah blah.....

You know all this anyway, its why most of us now see him as an irritating by product of success or a little stuck up rich kid and so why do i think you should see him as an albion hero?

This is a player we took to our hearts from the first game and quickly proved himself to be the Striker that every club needs to cement Premiership survival, a regular 10-15 goal a season man who lifts his team mates and the crowd, who runs into blind alleys and shoots from silly angles but that all supporters know when he does something a bit naff its all in the best possible intention. Even in Pete's first season he frustrated many supporters but his end product of 15 goals that season made him our highest Prem goal scorer a feat only the Fridge from Stamford Bridge can better this season, a player may i add who is a 20 million quid unrealistic signing for Tottenham, Everton or Liverpool nevermind our beloved blue and white wizards! Surely this is enough to cement an Albion hero!
Ok not enough how's about the fact 8 of these were in local derbies, he took on Super Kev's mantle and became our new dingle slayer 4 goals last season even scoring a hat trick at the custard bowl but of course i think you know that too, and even the 5 goals he scored this season included a Vile silencer at the Hawthornes, a personal favourite of mine.
I know its hard to see footballers as people who have a career and can make calculated money oriented moves and decisions but we now live in a world where Sneider joined Galatasaray as his highest bidder and Eto and half of Brazil's current crop play in Russian backwaters for clubs who conveniently play Champions league games in the capital miles from their home grounds.

I think my point is simple lets remember our Peter Odemwingie on the pitch, not the twittersphere or the car park, the tall, skinny guy with the bright hair who had the balls to run at everyone, the Vile silencer who shoots when no one else is, and gives a cheeky smile holding his match ball belly on a sunlit day in a quickly emptying tatty orange and black stadium in darkest Wolverhampton.

Yes Mr Robson of course i'll be available or Pre season training! 

The Boys celebrate! 

BOING BOING 

WBA 2-0 PORTSMOUTH: DREAMS CAN COME TRUE

Two months later and i still dont believe it. Even with the fixtures out, new signing coming in and a season ticket in my hand!

The day started terribly. I didn't have a ticket due to circumstances beyond my control. My Dad's mates, Big Paul, everyone in my office, the adjoining warehouse, Preecey, people i haven't spoke to for years, people in the pub etc couldn't help me what was i to do?

Enter a legend. The Twins that's Gay Will and Harry's other Brother Ross did something for me i will never forget. TOP MAN! Ross played for the youth team last season and as such should have had complimentary tickets for this match, Craig Shakespeare (Boo! Hiss!) the villain of the peice, gave away his tickets to new signing Rob Davis, The one who looks like Peter Crouch but shorter with bad hair, so we were both in a predicament. Outside the ground Ross gave me a ticket, after hugging him like a Catholic wishes they could hug the Pope, i found out it came from another player. When through the turnstyles which felt like a shoplifter must feel when exiting HMV with 20 Coldplay albums in his pants, i met Ross who had came in through the players tunnel, telling Shakespeare to get out his way in the politest way you can while using the F word (Yay!). He then took my ticket from me and gave it back to his friend and told me to find a seat. Not easy in a sold out ground full of stewards. After being moved 5 times i managed to get a seat infront of the boxes in the Halfords Lane stand.

The game was possibly the most professional roll over job ever conducted in Football history as Portsmouth's bitter rivals Southampton could have stayed if they beat ManYoo. Chants of "Let the Albion score a goal!" and plenty of Boing Boinging from the Pompey fans left their side knowing exactly where they stood. Our result was never in doubt. Palace lead 2-1 and the mood was very nervous on 86 minutes Charlton equalized and the Hawthornes went Mentle! It was everything we wished and more. Our game played out to a comfortable 2-0. and we waited Desperately for the Palace result. Silence, I was staring with about 50 others at a girl behind me with a radio. When she started Jumping and crying i knew we'd done it! If you take the best orgasm you've ever had times it by a thousand your still no were near how brilliant it felt. Everyone was on the pitch. Mass Boinging!! I did a victory run from the Halfords to the top of the Brummie Road to join my Dad, Brother and big Paul in the cekebrations. If you think football is just a game, you are an idiot these days don't come often and none of us there at the Hawthornes will ever forget where we were on the 15/05/2005.

Harry Redknapp, Iain Dowie, Delia Smith, Rodney bloody Marsh, Dingles, CAN YOU HEAR ME, Nigel Worthington, the whole premier league, the bloody Villa CAN YOU HEAR ME! BOTTOM AT CHRISTMAS MY ARSE!

DEL'S STAG: BLACKPOOL

THE STAG! CONGRATULATIONS MAN. Hope you had as good a time as the rest of us. 

It only went downhill from here. 

top from left: Hills, Gay Will, Copson, Del, Ade and King, Matt King. Bottom: Me and Huxley! 

See in told you Rough! 

Blackpool- DEL'S STAG! April 2005

A great weekend lots of beer and stupidity!

I normally go to Blackpool at May bank holiday every year, i now don't know why! The place was kicking lots of stags and hens all up for a laugh, didn't see any trouble at all, which was nice.

FRIDAY- Arrived went on everything at the Pleasure Beach in about an hour and a half with my friend Gay Will, felt rough after so went for a beer. The rest of the lads arrived about six and we went out in time to catch the rough as a bears arse stripper who we'd booked, a moment of clarity for the Stag (Del) and a moment of hilarity for the rest of us as she looked like a cross between Liz McDonald and that old bird off the Bill!From there on to Walkabout which was dead but it was only about 8.30 and the night hasn't even started to warm up, from there we went to Flares where Dancing to the Jackson 5 was the order of the day, we weren't in their long as fear of scouse birds, Gay Will's dancing and Del having to meet his mates in the Crazy Scots mean't we needed to move on. The Crazy Scots is probably a really good crack if you are Scottish! WE ARE NOT! So we tucked ourselves into a corner feeling sheepish and being quiet just in case. A Curry and bed shortly followed. This night didn't end there for some of us, Gay Will has a great way of getting so battered that he loses everyone in a haze of beery madness, I left my phone on so i could go and let him in when he rolled up as he normally does. My phone went and I snored louder to drone it out. about two hours later Matt the King woke to the sound of James Brown screaming out of my phone. It was a freezing cold night, with chilly winds blowing in from the sea. When Matt answered the door he found laying to the porch and shivering wreck. I think Matt's description was ' Do you remember Luke Skywalker nearly freezing to death at the start of Empire'.

SATURDAY- Began for me and Will at about 12.30pm. Breakfast, big, greasy and lots of it followed. We met the rest in the Dutton Arms at about 2pm. I'm not a betting but the Grand National is always worth a flutter and had to scream in pleasure when climaxing with a Thai massue......Sorry winning on the National £35.00 CASHBACK! The rest of night is a bit cloudy, i know we went to The Auctioneer, The Manchester(where Del was handcuffed to a Lamppost and covered in treacle by his Police homies), Then up to the Gayiety's (Yes i know a very unfortunate name) Kareoke Bar. Always good for Hens and stags, we walked in to be accosted by a group of cheeky scouse Nuns, we had a dance and a giggle and managed to escape but not before Will had made us look like what could only be described as Tits by putting him and I down for Hammer to Fall by Queen, i don't know if its just me but Kareoke should only be sung by one person at a time and you should never pick bloody Queen! No one sings like Freddie especially two pissed blokes from Tipton. From there to Yates were women in PVC were waiting to flirt with Del and Matt, this got boring after a while so we took the lenghy trip to Rumours, after this hike we got in and danced like fools for hours, then we met a few girls from Walsall, they were a right laugh and when Rumours shut we all scooted off Kebab in hand to their B&B with the promise of open bar the last person falls, a promise brilliantly fulfilled as the mad cockney behind the bar was having a great time putting on AC/DC and Metallica while trying to chat up every bird there with his Wife looking on. A you can tell by this write up Gay Will is a crap drunk who cannot handle his ale, He fell asleep at about 3am which of course meant he was fair game, so by the time everyone had got there photos of him, willy to the wind, it was about 4am when the owner of the B&B walked past and said quite poetically "He's got naffin ta show fur imself, as he!". Maybe Del turning him into a Moari Warrior with permenant marker was a bit far, but was still bloody funny!

SUNDAY- Got in at 6am woke up by The King at 9.30 the Bastard. Had hangover went home.

Poor groundsman 

This picture doesn't do those ribs justice. 

Goodbye and Good Luck!!!!!

On Sunday i said 'See you soon' to my little sister Helen Powney. She will for the next 8 months be laying on a beach drinking Sangria or doing the Hokey Cokey with 5 five year olds. If you see this Helen have a great time don't let anything get you down and know that we will all miss you but understand that it's time you had some fun!

All our love

Chris, Sarah and Oli XXX

PS- If anyone want's to leave Merelli a message please do so by clicking on the comments link below.

Mmm, bloody big Pie!!!!!