Blackpool- DEL'S STAG! April 2005
A great weekend lots of beer and stupidity!
I normally go to Blackpool at May bank holiday every year, i now don't know why! The place was kicking lots of stags and hens all up for a laugh, didn't see any trouble at all, which was nice.
FRIDAY- Arrived went on everything at the Pleasure Beach in about an hour and a half with my friend Gay Will, felt rough after so went for a beer. The rest of the lads arrived about six and we went out in time to catch the rough as a bears arse stripper who we'd booked, a moment of clarity for the Stag (Del) and a moment of hilarity for the rest of us as she looked like a cross between Liz McDonald and that old bird off the Bill!From there on to Walkabout which was dead but it was only about 8.30 and the night hasn't even started to warm up, from there we went to Flares where Dancing to the Jackson 5 was the order of the day, we weren't in their long as fear of scouse birds, Gay Will's dancing and Del having to meet his mates in the Crazy Scots mean't we needed to move on. The Crazy Scots is probably a really good crack if you are Scottish! WE ARE NOT! So we tucked ourselves into a corner feeling sheepish and being quiet just in case. A Curry and bed shortly followed. This night didn't end there for some of us, Gay Will has a great way of getting so battered that he loses everyone in a haze of beery madness, I left my phone on so i could go and let him in when he rolled up as he normally does. My phone went and I snored louder to drone it out. about two hours later Matt the King woke to the sound of James Brown screaming out of my phone. It was a freezing cold night, with chilly winds blowing in from the sea. When Matt answered the door he found laying to the porch and shivering wreck. I think Matt's description was ' Do you remember Luke Skywalker nearly freezing to death at the start of Empire'.
SATURDAY- Began for me and Will at about 12.30pm. Breakfast, big, greasy and lots of it followed. We met the rest in the Dutton Arms at about 2pm. I'm not a betting but the Grand National is always worth a flutter and had to scream in pleasure when climaxing with a Thai massue......Sorry winning on the National £35.00 CASHBACK! The rest of night is a bit cloudy, i know we went to The Auctioneer, The Manchester(where Del was handcuffed to a Lamppost and covered in treacle by his Police homies), Then up to the Gayiety's (Yes i know a very unfortunate name) Kareoke Bar. Always good for Hens and stags, we walked in to be accosted by a group of cheeky scouse Nuns, we had a dance and a giggle and managed to escape but not before Will had made us look like what could only be described as Tits by putting him and I down for Hammer to Fall by Queen, i don't know if its just me but Kareoke should only be sung by one person at a time and you should never pick bloody Queen! No one sings like Freddie especially two pissed blokes from Tipton. From there to Yates were women in PVC were waiting to flirt with Del and Matt, this got boring after a while so we took the lenghy trip to Rumours, after this hike we got in and danced like fools for hours, then we met a few girls from Walsall, they were a right laugh and when Rumours shut we all scooted off Kebab in hand to their B&B with the promise of open bar the last person falls, a promise brilliantly fulfilled as the mad cockney behind the bar was having a great time putting on AC/DC and Metallica while trying to chat up every bird there with his Wife looking on. A you can tell by this write up Gay Will is a crap drunk who cannot handle his ale, He fell asleep at about 3am which of course meant he was fair game, so by the time everyone had got there photos of him, willy to the wind, it was about 4am when the owner of the B&B walked past and said quite poetically "He's got naffin ta show fur imself, as he!". Maybe Del turning him into a Moari Warrior with permenant marker was a bit far, but was still bloody funny!
SUNDAY- Got in at 6am woke up by The King at 9.30 the Bastard. Had hangover went home.
I normally go to Blackpool at May bank holiday every year, i now don't know why! The place was kicking lots of stags and hens all up for a laugh, didn't see any trouble at all, which was nice.
FRIDAY- Arrived went on everything at the Pleasure Beach in about an hour and a half with my friend Gay Will, felt rough after so went for a beer. The rest of the lads arrived about six and we went out in time to catch the rough as a bears arse stripper who we'd booked, a moment of clarity for the Stag (Del) and a moment of hilarity for the rest of us as she looked like a cross between Liz McDonald and that old bird off the Bill!From there on to Walkabout which was dead but it was only about 8.30 and the night hasn't even started to warm up, from there we went to Flares where Dancing to the Jackson 5 was the order of the day, we weren't in their long as fear of scouse birds, Gay Will's dancing and Del having to meet his mates in the Crazy Scots mean't we needed to move on. The Crazy Scots is probably a really good crack if you are Scottish! WE ARE NOT! So we tucked ourselves into a corner feeling sheepish and being quiet just in case. A Curry and bed shortly followed. This night didn't end there for some of us, Gay Will has a great way of getting so battered that he loses everyone in a haze of beery madness, I left my phone on so i could go and let him in when he rolled up as he normally does. My phone went and I snored louder to drone it out. about two hours later Matt the King woke to the sound of James Brown screaming out of my phone. It was a freezing cold night, with chilly winds blowing in from the sea. When Matt answered the door he found laying to the porch and shivering wreck. I think Matt's description was ' Do you remember Luke Skywalker nearly freezing to death at the start of Empire'.
SATURDAY- Began for me and Will at about 12.30pm. Breakfast, big, greasy and lots of it followed. We met the rest in the Dutton Arms at about 2pm. I'm not a betting but the Grand National is always worth a flutter and had to scream in pleasure when climaxing with a Thai massue......Sorry winning on the National £35.00 CASHBACK! The rest of night is a bit cloudy, i know we went to The Auctioneer, The Manchester(where Del was handcuffed to a Lamppost and covered in treacle by his Police homies), Then up to the Gayiety's (Yes i know a very unfortunate name) Kareoke Bar. Always good for Hens and stags, we walked in to be accosted by a group of cheeky scouse Nuns, we had a dance and a giggle and managed to escape but not before Will had made us look like what could only be described as Tits by putting him and I down for Hammer to Fall by Queen, i don't know if its just me but Kareoke should only be sung by one person at a time and you should never pick bloody Queen! No one sings like Freddie especially two pissed blokes from Tipton. From there to Yates were women in PVC were waiting to flirt with Del and Matt, this got boring after a while so we took the lenghy trip to Rumours, after this hike we got in and danced like fools for hours, then we met a few girls from Walsall, they were a right laugh and when Rumours shut we all scooted off Kebab in hand to their B&B with the promise of open bar the last person falls, a promise brilliantly fulfilled as the mad cockney behind the bar was having a great time putting on AC/DC and Metallica while trying to chat up every bird there with his Wife looking on. A you can tell by this write up Gay Will is a crap drunk who cannot handle his ale, He fell asleep at about 3am which of course meant he was fair game, so by the time everyone had got there photos of him, willy to the wind, it was about 4am when the owner of the B&B walked past and said quite poetically "He's got naffin ta show fur imself, as he!". Maybe Del turning him into a Moari Warrior with permenant marker was a bit far, but was still bloody funny!
SUNDAY- Got in at 6am woke up by The King at 9.30 the Bastard. Had hangover went home.
posted by Chris Powney at
7:49 am
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